As I ventured out around 1:00 today to where my heart led me, my mind told me all the reasons I shouldn't. Even though I worked on mom's move til 1:00 last night, there was still plenty to do. As I headed towards 295, I told myself I could just go sit by the lake at Innsbrook and catch some rays there. It would save me three hours of driving time. So...at the last second I turned onto Church instead of going straight. Immediately, I knew that wasn't gonna do it. I made the first u-turn, following my original plan.
As I drove down 295 to 64 with my sunroof open, feeling the sun on the right side of my have and arm, I realized that the journey is in fact, a very important part of the trip. The driving time allows for thinking, processing, and at times a little mindfulness. It also allows for daydreaming-specifically today about the fact that a convertible would be the icing on the cake and that one must return to my life in the near future. (Isn't my daughter going to be driving soon?!)
Now that I'm sitting here on Yorktown beach, beside the York River, under a sky as perfect fly blue and clear as one could ask for and a radiant sun warming my skin, I realize that substations if this experience just wouldn't do.
Substitutions don't have the sound of the seagulls flying overhead, or the sailboats gliding by. They don't have the soft sand that I can dig my toes into, or the lapping of the water hitting the shore or the cool, gentle breezes. They don't offer an entire beach all to just me.
This is exactly where I need to be today. The week's are always full of so very much. We wear our mom hats, our wife hats, our daughter and sister hats. We wear our work hats and our bill-paying hats. We wear of friend hats and our worrying hats. We wear the hat that loves and takes care of the pets. In all of that, we struggle to switch them back and forth each day and get it all done. It's almost impossible to stop for a moment and put on the "ME" hat. So, I decided to pull that one out for today. And it's okay for you too. I know you deserve it...just like I did; and in the end, warring this hat for just a few hours today will fill me up with the energy and resilience that I'll need as soon as I'm heading home to begin wearing all the other hats in the box.
